„All happy families resemble each other, but every miserable family is unhappy in her own way.“ (Tolstoi)
This first sentence of the novel Anna Karenina seems to have some truth in it. Of course every family is unique in its ways, but in a happy family one can say: Everything is ok. This is not the case in a unhappy family. The span reaches from one thing that isn't ok and disturbs everything up to „nothing is ok“. And the reasons for this are as different as the people under the sun . They reach from small conflicts of everyday life, stress, lack of money, troubled communication, difficoult characters to death of a family member or other grave catastrophes.
It is not necessary that Tolstoi has meant one of these things, one or another of these factors appear in families that can be described as 'happy'. No family is perfect. But then they do not affect and trouble family life that much, their effects aren't seriously disturbing anything. And those effects, that what a catastrophe, a mistrust, a problem, a disturbing causes over a short or long term, are what makes a family unhappy and miserable. Stress leads to irritation, this causes fights and a bad mood. When somebody dies, the grief stuns everything, also relationships. Silence begins.
The possibilities for combinations leading to unhappiness are infinite due to the different unique characters in a family and the amount of reasons for difficoulties.
Every miserable family will be unhappy in her own way.
When a family is happy, all these things and surroundings don't matter anymore – being happy is, in the first and last place, a matter of the people, more than of anything else.
I assume that in the following, Tolstoi will have described (at least) one miserable family. This introductional sentence makes it appear much more interesting and unique. But – I never read Anna Karenina, I found this quotation elsewhere. Maybe I should find out what Tolstoi thinks about miserable families in detail, some day...
Hmm ... I'm not sure if I completely agree ...
AntwortenLöschenAs you said every person is unique, I'd say that not only miserable families are unique in their misery, but also every family in its happiness! Because putting together X unique individuals would never result in a predictable outcome ...
Maybe it's more the thing that it's more "interesting" and rewarding (in a way) to write about people's misery instead of about their happiness - true to the motto "only bad news are good news!"
Okay Jessi I NEED to ask this cuz it has irritated me SO badly x)) did you repeat one of your paragraphs on purpose? O.O cuz I seriously started doubting my sanity when I had the feeling "I have read EXACTLY these lines before" xDDDD you know, that's a new way of making the entry longer, without much work xPPP hahaha sorry, I just find the idea funny that you could've done it on purpose, hoping it stays unnoticed ;)
AntwortenLöschenI think I get what Tolstoi wants to say and in a way I agree with her....then again, I also think there aren't many families altogether who'd consider themselves "happy"..sadly :/
wow! i noticed that too when i read it (thanks katja, so i'm not the only one :')..) but i disagreee with the last part... i think most families would say, or worse, even BELIEVE their family was happy while denying or overlooking all problems..
Löschenyou think so?...I never thought about that....Jessi, what say you?
AntwortenLöschenooops...! didn't notice that I left that paragraph double - that's what happens when one tries different versions for the texts structure and doesn't revise it properly before publishing... (hmm, think I'll correct it just to show you how it OUGHT to be :)
LöschenAbout the happy-unhappy question: I think that both is true: Many families who are really ok look at the small things that aren't perfect, which is a typical german behaviour, just to mention that ;) and wouldn't agree that they ARE quite a happy family. And those families who really have a LOT and really grave problems often tend to ignore and deny them, to keep their face and illusion - to themselves as to others. I think, the first case is a luxury problem and the second very sad, but both exist.
P.s: @katja: ehm... tolstoi was not a she, his first name was Leo (ok, know I'm superficial, who expects everyone to know the gender of a long dead-and-buried russian author? :)))
forgive me ;)
Löschenthere's nothing to forgive ...but anyway, even if it were: remember, you've got a 490-times-credit ;)))))
Löschenhahahaha wow, I'll be rid of that in no time :S - hey you, don't you use my entries against me! - even though this is actually in my favour, I guess 490 will get me to 2013 and after that I guess you won't have to forgive me anymore..*sniff*
AntwortenLöschen