mistakes & knowledge with value

''There is only one kind of wisdom that has social value, and that's the knowledge of one's own limitations''

This is a quote by my favourite author, Dorothy L. Sayers, spoken by a figure who definetely knows a lot about society, wisdom and social value as he is a Lord and a detective. A very intelligent one as he seems to me, but that's not the point. Thinking about it it can be a very good advice how to behave in any society – especially a new and unknown one. The most unpleasant experiences will occur when one pretends to be/know/be able to do something and is discovered to do so. To be known as a boasting sack of hot air and nothing else is not something you'd dream of. So: Mind your limitations. If one doesn't know how to ride, for example, but says he is almost an expert with horses because it fits in the situation and he has no other interesting thing to come up with, this can backfire only too easy when his new friends invite him ever again to riding trips. It may not be easy to be honest but in the end it's the better thing most of the time.

Or something a little more practical: It can be very necessary and useful to know one's own limitations when it comes to alcohol. Why is an aspect I don't think I have to explain... lets just say it can be embarrassing.

And if you are creating an image of yourself it's even more essential to know your limitations, to know what you're able to maintain pretending, what you can and know and what you don't. A bad self-estimation is rarely a support to succeed – it leads to a lot of faux-pas. Even when one's aware of what one can't, one makes a lot of mistakes there (or the other way around: making mistakes create an awareness of the deficits). They're inevitable, especially in new surroundings and societys. Here another Sayers-quote could come in use: ''What is the use in making mistakes if you don't make use of them ?''

I like this sentence a lot. When I'm angry about myself making so many mistakes everywhere I go (yes, I have perfectionist tendencies in a few places, but only about myself) this is a little comfort. Like someone's telling me that there's a use in making mistakes because they are an opportunity to learn. I don't have to think about what I've done wrong especially how I can do it better next time. That's making use of it and learning extends one's own limitations consciously.

All the wisdom in these books has not as much value as the knowledge of one's own limitations …

a little paradox is that I've bought a Sayers book in this antiquariat in Edinbourgh (it would almost even have been on this picture :)

broken flower

Short time ago a girl I know has tried to commit suicide. We're not close and aren't in direct contact but this has shocked me. I have no idea why she did that, and I hope it was a cry for attention rather than a desperate wish for death.

Death is a thing that makes most people finally serious. It has something final, when your life is over, it's over. It's one of the things which cannot be changed, reversed or graduated. Dying, in most cases, is nothing pleasant at all, it's painful and people dread it because they don't know where they are going to. Most people fear it, even those who have nothing else to fear. To protect life and avoid death as long as possible, infinitively measures are taken, from airbags over ambulances and firefighters to food-control. Life is valued as high as nothing else, it's priceless, and everything is done when one needs to save a life.

Only very old people, who have lived a long life, or people, who are in extreme pain, wish for death to redeem them of their agony. What reason can a teenage girl have to want to end her life before it really has begun? Life is wonderful and bright as a flower, but also as fragile. Young people are like buds, not yet fully developed, already beautiful and valuable but in a need to be extra protected so that they can fully blossom in their life, with an unspoiled beauty, without bad scars. Wounds received as a bud damage the beauty of a flower the most. A bud broken before it has opened and blossomed is the most sad thing, a life ended at it's start. Being ripped out of the middle of life, in full blossom is equally cruel. When an old person dies it's sad, but at least they've had had their life. Faded flowers have a sad appearance too, but that's the natural way.

This is just a flower. It would have faded in a few days anyway. A person will die in a few years time anyway.

But when I see this picture I cannot think of anything but the cruelty of death at a time when it oughn't be.

This would be my greatest fear if I hadn't a hope beyond it. Have you ever thought about sudden death? And what then? Someday it'll be too late.

a shell

deep in the sea, camouflaged with brown, grey and black, barely visible on the sandy ground, hiding it's greatest treasure: it's inner content. A hard case, often tightly closed around soft living flesh. The most precious shells are those who once have swallowed something hurting – a sandkorn for example. A shell has no lips to spit it out so she has to live with it. To make it less hurting she clothes it in layers of perlmutt, around and around. After a very, very long time, years afterwards, the efforts of the shell have turned the disturbance into a shining, wonderful and precious PEARL. Unpleasancies, time and patient effort can cause the most beautiful products while on the outside around the hard protecting shells nothing seems to happen or change. The greatest treasures are hidden inside.