gone with the wind

Soap-bubbles, dandelion clocks (or blowballs, as they're called) and wishful dreams are equally solid-grounded and permanent (which means not at all) but also equally lighthearted. They're wonderful even if or even because they're so fragile in their beauty and it takes no more than a soft breeze till they're gone with the wind. Dissolved, away, for ever. I love and soap-bubbles although I know they won't last. Have you ever tried to get hold of a soap-bubble when you were a child? It's so disappointing that the slightest touch destroys them in an instant! How peaceful and beautiful is it when they float away into the sky before the inevitable bursting... Every child learns that they're no consistent toy – but you can make some new, and again, and again... There's not much difference with dandelion clocks, they're just not as colourful and if you haven't blown strong enough you'll find the little seeds everywhere. Still, they're gone anyway and won't come back. A small child may cry when there are no blowballs left. Who thinks of all the flowers that will grow in a year's time? The little seeds are gone and only a sad stalk is left. End of the story. Dreams often burst like soap-bubbles or float away in pieces like the seeds of a dandelion clock and leave you behind disappointed. That's life and that always will be. Just sometimes – a tiny chance – things you have given up long before turn out to have a wonderful outcome. A dream, a wish, long time ago shattered, dead and buried gets fulfilled even better than imagined. A happy end although the villain had won. It happens. I once read a childrens book where Kasimir, a little squirrel, became best friends with a dandelion that grew on the meadow where he lived. They spent a wonderful spring and summer together and when the dandelion finally had become a blowball, it promised Kasimir that it would always be there and return if he now blew strong enough. Kasimir was sad and disappointed discovering that his friend was gone. He left, thinking everything was over and he had been lied to. After a sad and lonely winter he returned to the meadow to discover that it was over and over covered with dandelions. Ok, I know that this is just a story. In a children's book. Anyway, isn't it wonderful to keep in mind that some things aren't as eliminated from the earth as they seem to be. Every time you blow a dandelion clock, you plant flowers for the next year. Death and life, disappointment and hope. There are shattered dreams and there is the wonder of something that was Gone With The Wind and still has a happy ever after*.

(* If you don't believe me, just watch the movie or read the book with the same title. This does neither mean that I like, support or recommend it. It was – in combination with the photo – only an inspiration for reflections)

dark clouds, blue sky

Right now several people I know fight with depressions, burn-out or both. This dark shadows run in my family as well as in my church and among other acquaintances. In most cases I wouldn't have suspected the people to be likely candidates for it. And this although it's a process to get into that black hole which seems to shade the sun out eternally. And as far as I know, it's a journey even longer to get out of it, and most fail to manange that without professional help. Naturally climbing out is harder work than falling in and it's absolutely demotivating and power-drenching to try and try and fail all over again. There is a need of someone who tells you that it's always the darkest part before you see the light at the end of the tunnel. And a lot more. If you know someone with depressions or other psychic problems you'll know how desperated one feels when one realises there is nothing you can say or do that will help. It seems impossible but there needs something to be done. I have the highest respects of psychatrists, therapists and other people working in psychatric clinics. They're often the last hope – everyone espects so much of them, they're often consulted far too late when nothing else is possible anymore, and still, most of them are doing a great job. I cannot imagine how people who have reached the absolute bottom – psychic, physic and with their souls – are fixed up again (sorry to use such a disrespectful expression) and work their way back to leading a normal life. To have help then is inevitable and I'm glad some have even a greater one helping. Someone who promised to be the healer of your soul, your doctor even, your comforter and friend and will always be there. He is the sun that will someday dissolve anything dark that clouds your soul and tries to make you forget there still is a blue sky above.

Got a lot of troubles

growing over my head.

They eat up my time

and all my thoughts.

They're like the airplane

in the grey sky above my head

- loud and threatening.

I try to get rid of the noise,

the threatening,

the problems.

I cry for help

but still try it on my own,

don't let anyone help me,

don't let go.

I can't do it anymore!

Now, finally I seek for my God,

don't anymore cry for help

while doing it on my own,

but give it away,

throw everything to his feet.

The loud airplane is gone.

A white dove approaches.

Peace and silence slowly come too.

My head is so much lighter.

A great bird floats under the sky a little farther.

The troubles won't be a threat anymore.

The great bird is replaced by a little one.

They will lose their horror

if I let him do.

A small airplane appears far away.

Then I too will be able

to look at my troubles with distance.

Maybe find out that they're not at all

as threatening

but only seem so.

And even the airplane will withdraw sooner or later.

And there where I just saw grey clouds

the sky is bright blue.